Well, trying to anyway. Since the last time I wrote, I discovered a cheater, who my friends are, went through a pandemic, lost my sense of creativity, alot of my humor, and a hefty chunk of my faith in humanity. I want to see romance like I'd want to watch paint dry. I can't read it, watch it on tv, or even have hints of it. Sheesh, I know right? I moved away from my friends back near my family, which as all families are rife with drama, I don't really socialize much any more. Last week i was unfortunate enough to get either a bad Starbucks drink OR a bad Safeway yogurt fruit parfait Which kicked my recovery from a cold into a lovely trip to the ER and a short (thank the heavens) hospital stay. Goody. Well my sarcasm remains rampant, but here we are. A week of trying to recover, and attempting to piece together my life. It's been almost two years since my move.. and I'm not even fully moved into my apartment. This will be the year. I will get moved in I will piece together a life that is comfortable for me Without the betrayals, and crazy ass drama. I have never thought that my dream of a life with someone to grow old with and a place to leave that couldn't be snatched out from under me was so a impossible dream. But now I prefer not to bargain peaceful with someone that I can never really know. Instead, i will go back to stitching and trying to grow my plants and just make a home for myself. Take care of my mother and that is a peaceful life. A peaceful life, isn't that just the thing?

I was flicking through my facebook when I came across this repost from an acquaintance.

https://www.facebook.com/avengersfanaticsunited/photos/a.2127827287446930/2256863714543286/?type=3&theater

Today my sweetheart and I planned out date day. He had a Dr. Appointment and then we had to get the car checked, not super romantic I know. But it is time for us to spend together and run around and just .. not have pressures on us. After that, we planned to travel around our local areas and poke hunt. I know, I know.. it's addictive, but it gives him a goal for walking, and with my walker, and or cane, I attempt to keep up. We find it fun, and occasionally frustrating, but it is something we do together. Occasionally we hunt with our friends as a Team, and we enjoy the socializing.
However, fate had another plan. The Noise we had dismissed as the fuel line being old was instead something to do with the wheel bearings in the front wheels and was going to suck up several hours. Okay fine, we would stay in the garage, why be locked at home even on a day that was eerily similar to the Silent Hill weather patterns?
I had brought a charger so we could still hook into the internet and do various little things that we had put off. He would take breaks and wander around the lot and the woods, and I would walk around the waiting area. The path was smoother there for me and less for me to trip on. And time inched along. I finished another chapter of a fan fiction I am working on. Sorted out files.
He caught up on correspondence and we chatted about the little things. Started planning out the upcoming events, family, holiday events and of course the evil working schedules.
Eventually, the headache from being a diabetic way too long without food started smacking me down. So he smuggled me some popcorn. I was asking him if we should go ahead and head on home, it was five hours into this "couple of hour" time frame. We would no longer be able to head out to all the places he had wanted to go. With me needing to stay home and sort out for a doctor's appointment of my own in the morning, we'd soon have to separate so he could visit with his mother, and enjoy some Korean television with her. I was a little worried that the repairs would take too long. Instead, he tickled my arm gave me a kiss and snagged some more popcorn.
One more hour passed by, and finally, we were set free. We debated what to do next briefly as we gathered the paperwork and made good our escape from the garage with the chairs that would destroy ironman's butt. Off to a salad lunch and then our much awaited Pokehunting.
It is probably funny to watch us. He has long legs and a distance-eating stride. And now my short legs are further hampered by the use of a cane, and a knee that punishes me if I step too quickly. It's a change from my short but formerly steady gate that I used to hot foot my way down the road. He quickly outdistances me, but he turns around often just to make sure I'm all right, and that I am behind him. If I have stopped, he will make his way back to me just to be sure I'm not "stuck" or needing my walker. We snapped up all the Duduo's that we needed to make our advanced creature. We gathered some supplies for hunting later and then headed home. He had to set out shortly after, and I settled in to cook myself some dinner and watch some tv.
I set a wax melt of fresh cut roses, and got my paperwork and my stuff ready, and then began my mending. This stuff is some potent wax melts. It brings to mind being the "engine" for my Great Grandmother's sewing machine. It was great fun moving the pedal for her. And with the scent spurring on memories from well over thirty-five years ago, I can almost hear her voice. I can remember the scent of the flowers of her garden, and feel the cool dry touch of her hand. Her skin was soft as rose petals, dry, fragile, but she had a will of iron. The memories float about as I sketch this odd little day. And now I know that the scent of roses will remind me of her, and remind me of this day with my sweetheart. Another little memory to look back on when my days want to stress me.
It's been an enjoyable day. And the holidays are coming. I just needed to get this one down, to remember that even stressful days pass and a good memory is a great way to shed that stress.

Winter is coming, and the holidays are creeping up on us like a crazed speed ninja in a hotrod. Already my coworkers are mentally cringing at the schedule of doom for work. I'm in retail, and Black Friday is already a nightmare thought. It isn't that I don't' like the holidays. I love the holiday's symbolism. Rebirth, Hope, Goodwill to all, these are good things. But what I don't' care for is the carelessness, thoughtlessness, greed, and even complete disregard for others. I've seen people shove each other not by hand which is still bad but using carts. I saw one middle-aged woman shove an 80-year-old woman with a cart because the poor thing couldn't move fast enough for her. Of course, at that point, the woman was pissed off and took her cane and start smacking the cart lady. It was total chaos. I've had to wear a coat to disguise the fact of where I worked to actually work in the building. And even then I saw people paused at both ends of the aisle eyeing me kinda like rabid vultures. I've seen co-workers smacked by carts so hard they had to be taken to the hospital.

The holiday season is coming up folks. Try not to forget those people working, are people.

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